Wednesday, March 30, 2011
8:59 PM EST
"I AM MICKEII"
Written and directed by: C. Xzavier Films
Produced by: (The Publicity Chick) Renee D. Kerr
FADE IN:
We see the main character, NICKADEMIS VAN CHU, enter his friend ZACHARY NOBLEMAN’s bedroom and take a seat quietly. We
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU sitting down somewhere else, in front of a HD video camera – he is recording his monologues we see throughout the film.
NICKADEMIS
What’s popping world? The name’s NICKADEMIS VAN CHU and this is my story; season 1, episode MICKEII. Now MICKEII is a figment of my highly active imagination but she actually exists in reality though. In my reality however, she is thousands of miles away and wants nothing to do with me. She’s aware of my presence however, basically because I’m peacefully stalking her ass. I mean her existence no harm, I just have this nasty habit of setting goals, obsessing over them nonstop and actually moving towards them; no matter how insanely misguided and harmful they may be to my criminal record…lol. I was born to write my stories out and here’s chapter one motherfucker!
CUT TO:
PRESENT DAY: we see NICKADEMIS VAN CHU sitting on ZACHARY’s couch. ZACK is currently on myplace.com checking out his profile. NICKADEMIS VAN CHU walks over to the computer and takes a seat next to ZACK. ZACK responds to a female friend’s message and leaves the room to use the bathroom. NICKADEMIS browses Shorty’s page.
NICKADEMIS
Wow!
NICKADEMIS continues clicking through MICKEII’s pictures. We
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resuming his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS (O.S.)
The 1st time I beheld the beauty that is, MONICA LOW…I was like ‘nahhhhhhhhhh’. Our GOD is an awesome GOD!!! Honey is half Puerto-Rican, half African American and is flossing straight hunned (hundred) and fifty dollar bills in multiple pics, no flauging (meaning fronting). I’ve seen many fine ass females over the internet an on the television but there is something about this girl man; I felt it. I felt not only was I destined to stumble across this girl but – GOD would reward my hard work in my chosen field of recording books with her presence in my life.
CUT TO:
PRESENT DAY: We see ZACK reenter his bedroom to find NICKY BOY staring hopelessly at MICKEII LOW’s profile pictures.
NOBLEMAN
Wtf? Hell nah!!! I see you found MICKEII
NICKADEMIS
Yes, as a matter of fact I did.
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU turns away from the computer and looks toward ZACHARY.
NICKADEMIS CONTINUED
Who is this broad???
NOBLEMAN
Some chick I added about a year ago. She is fine ain’t she?
NICKADEMIS
No doubt, no argument there. She got mad dudes on her page too. I’m reading her comments and everything.
NOBLEMAN
Yea the fellahs love this one, but she got swag though, I haven’t seen one guy on there do her real dirty.
NICKADEMIS
Swuh she won’t let em?
ZACHARY NOBLEMAN shoots NICKADEMIS a half surprised, half ‘are you serious?’ look.
NOBLEMAN
Hell nah NIZZY!!!
ZACHARY NOBLEMAN returns his focus to the internet webpage.
NOBLEMAN CONTINUED
This one’s special.
NICKADEMIS
So MONICA LOW is a GOT damn beast eh? That’s what Chu telling me?
NOBLEMAN
Exact-a-mundo pimpin.
NICKADEMIS (while still focusing mainly on her page)
So it says here she is single and she’s obviously engaged in some serious online mingling. You interested in shawty???
NOBLEMAN
I mean, she’s fine and everything but –
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU looks away from the screen and back to ZACHARY.
NOBLEMAN CONTINUED
Real talk though, I’d break MONICA LOW’s little frame in half shawty; I krump. I never understood it honestly but when I 1st engaged her in conversation, I realized she wasn’t on my friend’s list to be more than a friend to me, but for someone else. And now I think that someone else is –
NICKADEMIS
NICKADEMIS, NICKADEMIS
NOBLEMAN joins in.
NOBLEMAN and NICKY D
NICKADEMIS, NICKADEMIS
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resuming his video blog.
NICKADEMIS
And with that, the MICKEII saga was born. What an extraordinarily hopeful few years it turned out to be.
CUT TO:
We listen to a 2 minute segment of the audio seminar NICKADEMIS recorded about MICKEII LOW.
THE IAMMICKEII AUDIO – NICKADEMIS
While these segments elapse we see NICKADEMIS flirting with and kissing on MONICA LOW all around town. We know this is merely his imagination running away with him as he has yet to accumulate the funds to meet up with slimmie.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resuming his video blog.
NICKADEMIS
I know it’s crazy, 3yrs later, this is highly apparent to ya boy but at that time period; I was Geeked the fuck up shawty damn. I was straight up obsessed with this female. I mean I would stare at her profile for at least 2-3hours daily…easy. I was forced to use ZACK’s because she never accepted my friend requests. If MONICA LOW were a place of employment – I deserved overtime pay, accrued vacation hours and dental for my entire family…I was in it full time.
CUT TO:
We see NICKADEMIS VAN CHU staring at MICKEII’s profile with nothing but love, endearment and affection in his eyes for her. NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resumes his video blog.
NICKADEMIS
I spent weeks sending MICKEII LOW messages from NOBLEMAN’s account. I always introduced myself as ‘NICKADEMIS VAN CHU’ but to no avail. If she ever felt inclined to respond nicely to me or just reply at all, the urge was never great enough for her to actually act on it.
CUT TO:
Yet another 2 minute segment of the audio seminar NICKADEMIS recorded about MICKEII LOW.
THE IAMMICKEII AUDIO – NICKADEMIS
We see NICKADEMIS flirting with and kissing on MONICA LOW all around town inside of his imagination.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resumes his video blog.
NICKADEMIS
So after weeks and weeks of failed attempts to persuade MONICA to respond to me, something damn near miraculous happened. One night, I was lost in MICKEII’s eyes via her website pictures, as usual. I decided to YouTube the ‘Can you feel the love tonight’ song from Disney’s ‘the lion king’. I listened to it for about 2hours I would approximate as I sat there fantasizing about the human Goddess MICKEII-DITE. So I put the act to rest for the night many hours later and went to sleep myself. Little did I know, GOD was going to reiterate to me, I was doing the right thing.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS logs onto ZACK’s profile and heads straight to MONICA LOW’s page. Myplace.com allows the users to type in personal messages on their page banners and MONICA’s most current message states: “CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?”
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU covers his mouth and screams out –
NICKADEMIS
Oh Snaaaaaaap!
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resuming his video blog.
NICKADEMIS
Like are you serious? Did this really happen? How can any mortal accurately determine why MICKEII put that on her page besides MICKEII? It was most likely due to a situation having NOTHING to do with NICKADEMIS but – that’s highly unlikely and just too coincidental. I can tell that story to anybody and this moment would always make them think. If you doubt the law of attraction was in action, aiming towards my ultimate satisfaction; you’re an undeniable skeptic – which is a very bad habit.
CUT TO:
We listen to yet another 2 minute segment of the audio seminar NICKADEMIS recorded about MICKEII LOW.
THE IAMMICKEII AUDIO – NICKADEMIS
We see NICKADEMIS flirting with and kissing on MONICA LOW all around town inside of his imagination.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resuming his video blog.
NICKADEMIS
I’ll say a few months after this supernatural occurrence; I received another breakthrough. Although MICKEII has at this point still chosen NOT to respond to her most devoted admirer and page view, she did let me know she was aware I existed. Maybe she just didn’t want to admit it publicly because it would shift the “he’s weird” factor to “this bitch crazy too” lol.
NICKADEMIS CONTINUED
So MICKEII had this picture of her at DISNEYWORLD in Orlando, Florida with someone taking a picture of her and a stuffed MICKEY MOUSE in a gift shop. I’ll never forget it; she was wearing a yellow shirt and had the most deserving smile I have yet to observe. Just thinking about the picture makes my liver quiver.
CUT TO:
We see NICKADEMIS’ liver quiver.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS CONTINUED
Every picture of hers has a caption and this one was “a smile to die for”. So me being the smooth operator I am from time to time quickly came up with a statement to trump hers. So I, while using NOBLEMAN’s account, typed in the following comment: ‘to me, it looks more like a smile to live and prosper for. This is NICKADEMIS VAN CHU by the way lol”
CUT TO:
Yet another 2 minute segment of the audio seminar NICKADEMIS recorded about MICKEII LOW.
THE IAMMICKEII AUDIO – NICKADEMIS
We see NICKADEMIS flirting with and kissing on MONICA LOW all around town inside of his imagination.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS continuing his video narration.
NICKADEMIS
Many, many months after I sent MICKEII this comment, my persistent antics ultimately resulted in ZACHARY NOBLEMAN no longer being able to view MONICA LOW’s private page; I had gotten his ass removed from her friend’s list. It seemed as if MICKEII had, had enough of my bullshit. Another friend of mine, STEVIE JUKEL, also had MICKEII on his friend’s list. As I was aware I was skating on thin ice, I only looked on her page from STEVIE’s. Even if I had wanted to leave comments on her page; STEVIE don’t play that. He only let me do it twice. So when I went to her page and checked out her pictures, I stumbled across the yellow Orlando picture once again; the comment was deleted because the sender was no longer allowed on her page. She had uploaded another picture with the caption reading: ‘a smile to live for.’
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS puts his oddly shaped head down and begins to shake it side to side while rocking back and forth in his chair…laughter quietly invades the room. She is affected by his creepy bullshit in some manner.
NICKADEMIS
Damn.
NICKADEMIS looks up to the ceiling and gets on his knees.
NICKADEMIS CONTINUED
Thank you so much GOD. I do, appreciate it, very much so.
CUT TO:
The final one minute segment of the audio seminar NICKADEMIS recorded about MICKEII LOW.
THE IAMMICKEII AUDIO – NICKADEMIS
We see NICKADEMIS flirting with and kissing on MONICA LOW all around town inside of his imagination.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resuming his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS
Now I am going to speed up the story so ya’ll can continue living out your day to day routines. This story is full of confusing trails and intentional roadblocks meant to throw us off the path to righteousness. Right around the time I decided to catalogue my MICKEII experiences in written word; I encountered a decoy. I wrote up to chapter 12 and chapter 12 discussed the dreams I had about MICKEII and how this simple fact meant she had impressed my subconscious. You can’t dream about anything that’s not in your subconscious mind. Now that I think about it, that book was going to be deep as shit. I lost the purple notebook containing it in church and will never write it again; it’s done and it’ll never affect readers like the original would have. Or maybe it would’ve just went over there heads, I get too deep sometimes, most times. MICKEII’s myplace URL was ‘monicalow’ and then out of nowhere; a URL named ‘sadebabee’ popped into existence claiming to be MONICA LOW. This one was based in New Jersey while the ‘official MICKEII’ was in Jacksonville, Florida and originated from California.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS on the ‘sadebabee’ webpage.
NICKADEMIS
What in the cheesecake??? Are you serious???
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resumes his video session.
NICKADEMIS
I was highly confused and a dash upset. This MICKEII easily accepted me and had some of the same pictures as the ‘official MONICA LOW’. As I read her comments I stumbled across a conversation talking about how this girl started this profile to see if ‘some guy’ was ‘really true’. Maybe it wasn’t referring to me but I kept that reality in mind. It probably wasn’t the real MICKEII LOW mainly because this one ACTUALLY responded to me on a regular basis. I mean, I uploaded a YouTube video with 2friends talking to me about the MICKEII situation and I sent it to her. She watched it and responded.
CUT TO:
We see NICKADEMIS VAN CHU sitting at his computer reading the 2nd MICKEII’s response.
IMPOSTER MICKEII
NIKKY!!! I read all the long paragraphs lol and I watched the whole entire video and just wow. I never knew it was that serious.
CUT TO:
ZACHARY NOBLEMAN getting on the video session with NICKADEMIS VAN CHU.
NOBLEMAN
When I first saw the comment MICKEII left on NIKKY’s page, I thought to myself; ‘damn, this fool done hacked MICKEII’s page.’
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resuming his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS
You see what I mean now? You can tell from her response how deep in it I was. It was damn near a spiritual experience for ya boy. We actually even did a little bit of flirting. I mentioned some joke about being interested in some other girl but I still wanted to be MONICA’s friend and she responded with.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU reading the imposter’s response.
IMPOSTER MICKEII
Well if that’s how you feel, I mean, you can tell me anything. Just tell that female how you really feel lol.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resuming his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS
I mean, what the what the am I supposed to believe. I asked honey if she was the ‘official MICKEII LOW’ and she replied.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU reading the imposter’s response.
IMPOSTER MICKEII
Of course I am, the one and only.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resuming his video taping.
NICKADEMIS
This MICKEII’s age was about 16 so I’m completely thrown off because she really looked 16. I’m getting pissed at this point and just when I feel it can’t get any weirder –
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU logs onto his account and checks out the imposter’s page to find out the MICKEII pictures had been deleted and replaced by some caramel skinned African American female.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resumes his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS
BOOM!!! So I confront Shorty and she tells me
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS reading the imposter’s responses.
IMPOSTER MICKEII
Oh so you’re VAN CHU??? I’m sorry but this is my account now boo.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS resumes his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS
Shortly after this I was given the NOBLEMAN treatment; she had me removed from her friend’s list and her profile was always private. So fast forward 8months later, I’m planning a trip to Jacksonville, Florida with one friend to explore the city and meet MICKEII finally. I sent her another friend request and inside the message box I let her know I had booked the flight to her town. Immediately, her status emoticon changed to ‘anxious’. She was most likely anxious about other things as well. I had to cancel the trip due to bad planning but before I did so, ‘the official MONICA LOW’ sent me a real message, to my account. She was cursing me out.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS reading the official MONICA LOW’s first true response.
THE OFFICIAL MONICA LOW
You stupid ass bitch; why the fuck you got my pictures on public? Now you have people making fake ass profiles of me and shit. Bitch ass nigga.
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU resuming his video recording session.
NICKADEMIS
Now I obviously know it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear or read but – success is success…lmao. So I sent her a lengthy message back basically saying I would put the pictures I had of her, on my profile on private so no one could ever view them. I found it very odd, strange and peculiar how her beef wasn’t that I had her pictures but – that other people could steal them from my page. Enough of my perspective; what’s your viewpoint?
NICKADEMIS
So basically, that’s the end of the story. I found her on twitter 6months on that and started posting messages directly to her. 10minutes later she posted a tweet saying “I hate twitter.” I’m a fuckboyyyyyyyyyy!!! I uploaded the audiotapes and video blogs detailing the story online and began to promote them. Then 3months later an independent production company liked the story and decided to film a documentary with me about it and buy the rights from me, giving them the power to distribute it or to sell it to a production powerhouse for distribution like MTV or Comedy Central. They were going to fund a trip to Florida after they located her exact whereabouts for me. And then, 2months later, after all this bullshit –
CUT TO:
NICKADEMIS VAN CHU is sitting in a Florida restaurant listening to his mp3 player and writing in his notebook as the official MONICA LOW enters the establishment with the documentary film crew. So NICKADEMIS stands up to shake her hand
NICKADEMIS
Damn MICKEII, you look even more swagful in person. It’s a true honor and a real pleasure to finally meet you.
But instead – MONICA cocks back her 2fists of fury and hits VAN CHU in the face with a 3piece combo. I mean, she leans all up in his shit, she then ducks down and uppercuts VAN CHU causing him to exit the frame, she looks to the camera, smiles and says –
THE OFFICIAL MONICA LOW
Nah NIZZY – (waving her hands in his direction)
The pleasure’s alllllllllllllllllllll mine.
FADE TO BLACK SHAWTY
Before the credits roll, I want to record 6, 30 second segments with these people:
Isaiah
Brendan and Yanna
Troy
Marcus
Nate
Telling the viewing audience their true opinions and viewpoints of the Mickeii situation.
