VITAL FLUID COLOR WASHED METACARPUS: DAHMER'S BEDTIME STORIES SAGA
WRITTEN BY: CHAD XZAVIER
10.17.2022
5:03PM EST
MALE PERSPECTIVE:
STORY ONE: THE VICTIM AND THE VICTOR
1. THE FIRST TIME I HEARD A MAN SCREAM FOR HELP, KNOWING I WAS THE ONLY ONE AROUND TO HELP HIM, WAS INTOXICATING. I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH POWER. IF I DON'T HELP THIS MAN, HE MAY JUST DIE IN MY ARMS. I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH LOVE BEFORE. THE LOVE BETWEEN A VICTIM AND THE VICTOR IS UNPARALLELED OR MATCHED.
IF YOU HEARD SOMEONE BANGING FROM THE INSIDE OF A CAR'S TRUNK, WOULD YOU HELP THEM? OF COURSE YOU WOULD. NOW WHAT IF YOU PUT THEM THERE? THEN IT WOULD BE COUNTER PRODUCTIVE TO OPEN THE TRUNK. THE PRIZE WOULD GET AWAY. IS IT A PRIZE OR IS IT A HUMAN? OR IS IT A HUMAN UNTIL IT IS CAUGHT? THEN IT IS A PRIZE.
THE CAR WAS PARKED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS. THERE WAS A PATH AND I FOLLOWED IT. I MADE THE PATH A LONG TIME AGO. THIS WAS PREMED. I HAD BEEN PINING FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY ALL OF MY LIFE.
ALL OF MY LIFE I HAVE FELT POWERLESS. POWERLESS BY OTHERS. POWERLESS BY MANY OTHERS. POWERLESS BY TOO MANY TO NAME. AND NOW, THE ONLY WAY TO GET THEM BACK, IS TO DO WHAT EVER I WANT TO OTHERS, REGARDLESS OF THEIR CONSEQUENTIAL FEELINGS, OR OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF DIS REGARDING THEIR FEELINGS.
AS HE POUNDED ON THE INSIDE OF THE TRUNK, I LAUGHED. IT WAS THE SWEETEST SOUND I HAD EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. THERE ARE PROBABLY FINGERNAIL MARKS ON THE INSIDE BY NOW. AFTER A WHILE, THE SCREAMS STARTED TO GET TO ME. I BEGAN TO WONDER, IF I SHOULD LET HIM GO. HE PROBABLY HAS A FAMILY. THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. THEN HE IS ALREADY SURVIVED BY OTHERS.
THE INSIDE OF THE TRUNK IS FILLED WITH GASOLINE. NOW THE OUTSIDE OF THE AUTOMOBILE, IS COVERED IN GASOLINE AND ACETONE. AS I LIT THE NEWPORT, I WONDERED, IF HE KNEW HE HAD SEVEN MINUTES LEFT TO BREATHE PURE AIR? MINUS THE GASOLINE STENCHED ATMOSPHERE HE NOW RESIDES IN?
IT TAKES ME SEVEN MINUTES TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE. THIS ITEM HAS SEVEN MINUTES LEFT INTACT. ONCE THE CIGARETTE WAS A SHORT, I LET HIM CATCH IT. I NEVER SAW THE CAR AGAIN.
STORY TWO: SLEEP BAIT
6:57PM EST - 7:23PM EST
10.20.2022
OCTOBER 20TH, 2022
FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE LOVED. HE REFUSED TO LOVE. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW. HIS MOTHER NEVER SHOWED HIM. NEITHER DID HIS FATHER OR SIBLINGS, SHOW HIM HOW TO LOVE EITHER. NOW THERE WAS A CROOK ON HIS NECK, GIVING HIM, A CROOK, IN HIS NECK. THE FIRST CROOK WAS ME. THE SECOND CROOK WAS HIS NECK SNAPPING. ALL I WANTED WAS AFFECTION. HE USED TO ACCUSE ME OF BETRAYING HIS AFFECTION. HE NEVER SHOWED AFFECTION. ONE DAY I JUST SNAPPED; HIS NECK. TODAY WAS THE DAY. THIS ENDS TONIGHT, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, AS HE GURGLED FOR BREATH. OR IS THE WORD PINED FOR AIR? I COULD FEEL HIS INNER DESPAIR, AS HE REALIZED HE LUCKED UP, AND GOT WHAT HE DESERVED.
WE USED TO WATCH MOVIES TOGETHER. TONIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MOVIE NIGHT. MOVIE NIGHT IS STILL ON. ALL I EVER WANTED FROM HIM WAS HIS TIME. HE REFUSED TO SHOW AFFECTION WHILE GIVING TIME. AS WE LAY IN THE BED TOGETHER, I TURNED ON THE FIRST 48 HOURS MARATHON. I FELL ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY. SLEEP BAIT. GETS ME EVERY SINGLE TIME. I WAS EXHAUSTED. IT WAS A LONG DAY. MY ACTIVITIES WERE STRENOUS. I WOKE UP THREE HOURS LATER. ON HIS CHEST. HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT ME. I COULD IMAGINE HIM SMILING. BUT HE WASN'T. HIS FACE WAS EXPRESSIONLESSLY VOID. HE LOOKED SO CALM. I WAS JUST HAPPY HE WAS STILL HERE.
I NEVER WANTED HIM TO LEAVE ME. HE NEVER LEFT ME ALONE AGAIN. ALL I WANTED WAS HIS COMPANY. I CAME HOME EVERYDAY EXCITED TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM. I ALWAYS KNEW THE RELATIONSHIP WOULDN'T LAST FOREVER. I HAD TO SETTLE FOR TIL DEATH DO US PART. HE NEVER PROPOSED OR ANYTHING BUT I DON'T NEED A RING TO MAKE VOWS TO NEVER LEAVE THEIR SIDE. FROM THIS MOMENT HE HAD NEVER BETRAYED ME AGAIN. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN I NEEDED A LISTENING EAR AND A DEAR FRIEND. SO AFTER A WEEK, HIS PHONE BEGAN GETTING THOSE TYPES OF MESSAGES.
EVERYONE IN HIS RECENT CONTACT LIST AND MESSAGES FOLDER, WAS ATTEMPTING, TO CONTACT HIM. SO I, NO, WE, THREW ONE FINAL BONFIRE, IN THE WOODS TOGETHER. IT WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC HE HAD BEEN IN A WHILE. I DELICATELY PLACED HIS REMAINS IN THE BARREL OF ACETONE. I MADE A WISH AS HE BECAME A FLAMING STAR.
STORY THREE: IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIME
11:15AM EST - 12:15PM EST
11.09.2022
NOVEMBER 9TH, 2022
AS I BASHED BOBBY'S HEAD IN WITH THE BOULDER, I THOUGHT TO MY SELF OUT LOUD. ALMOST SO HE COULD HEAR ME. AS IF I WERE SPEAKING TO HIM. BUT HE COULDN'T HEAR ME. HE WOULD NEVER HEAR ANYTHING AGAIN.
"I NEVER WANTED TO BE A KILLER" I TOLD HIM. "IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. I USED TO HAVE COMPASSION. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE COMPASSION WENT. IT APPEARS TO HAVE ESCAPED THE GRASP."
NOW I FIND MYSELF, GRASPING, THIS BOULDER. THIS BOULDER, WHICH WAS ONCE, DULL GREY. THIS BOULDER, WHICH IS NOW, FULL RED. PLUM RED. THE RED OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S TOE NAILS. THE RED OF HER PERIOD. PERIOD. TOTALLY. IT SPLASHED GORE DROPS INTO MY EYES, LIKE DR. LECTER, IN THE FAMOUS SCENE.
GROWING UP, I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE TED BUNDY. CHARLES MANSON WAS MY IDOL. WILLIAM GACY WAS MY HERO. JEFFREY DAHMER WAS LORD KING OF THE UNDERWORLD TO ME. I ALWAYS VALUED THE PERSPECTIVE OF SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T VALUE HUMAN LIFE. WHY SHOULD I CARE WHO LIVES AND DIES? THE RICH SURE DON'T. WE ALL WANT TO BE LIKE THE RICH RIGHT? WHO DOESN'T WANT TO DECREASE THEIR WEALTH GAP? AFTER I FIND A PLACE TO HIDE THE MEAT BAG, I'M GOING IN HIS POCKETS.
AS I INSTALLED MYSELF NEAR THE SKELETON, TASTING A MODELO, WITH VITAL FLUID COLOR WASHED METACARPUS, I DELIBERATED ON TO MYSELF, WHERE MY EXPEDITIONS, WOULD TAKE ME NEXT. ON TO NORTH CAROLINA. I PITCHED HIS OUTER CASING IN A BARREL OF ACETONE. I SET IT ABLAZE. THEY WOULD NEVER NOTICE THE CADAVER.
STORY FOUR: THE SPARREL
8:35PM EST - 8:50PM EST
11.09.2022
NOVEMBER 9TH, 2022
I BEGGED HIM. I BEGGED HIM MANY TIMES. I ASKED SO MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED BEGGING. AND I BEG NO ONE. I WAS BEGGING HIM TO STOP. HE WOULDN'T STOP. HE KEPT POINTING THAT OILY RIGHT INDEX FINGER OF HIS, INTO MY FACE ALMOST. CLOSE ENOUGH TO SET ME OFF. NOW HE FALLS FROM THE WALL, ONTO THE GROUND. I THREW HIM INTO THE WALL, BEFORE HE HIT THE GROUND. AS HE HIT THE GROUND, I BEGAN CURB STOMBING HIM. INSIDE OF HIS ROOM. THERE WAS NO CURB. THERE WAS ONLY HIS CARPET. WHEN I GOT HERE, THE CARPET WAS ALL TAN, OR MAYBE, IT WAS BROWN. I DON'T REMEMBER, FOR I ONLY SAW RED AFTER HIS FINGER WAVED INTRUSIVELY INTO MY BUBBLE.
WITH MY BUBBLE BURSTED, I PROCEEDED TO DO THE SAME EXACT THING, TO HIS LUNGS. I NO LONGER WANTED HIM TO BREATHE. AS IF IT WERE UP TO ME. BUT WITH MY HANDS GRIPPED DELICIOUSLY AROUND HIS THROAT, AS LONG AS I SQUEEZED, IT WAS UP TO ME. I WAS, IN COMPLETE CONTROL. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE ENRAGED ME. NOW WITH ME ENRAGED, IF I GET CAUGHT, I END UP IN A CAGE. SO I MADE IT WORTH IT. NOW HIS CARPET IS MORE RED THAN IT WAS BEFORE I GOT HERE. NOW HIS CARPET IS AS RED AS WHAT I SAW WHEN IT WAS BROWN.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LISTEN?" I ASKED HIM. HE RESPONDED WITH A RESOUNDING "WHY?" MY SENTIMENTS AS WELL MY GUY. I WENT TO MY CAR AND GOT MY SUPPLIES. I POURED THE SUPPLIES INSIDE OF THE BARREL I KEEP IN THE TRUNK. ALWAYS KEEP A SPARE BARREL. I CALL IT, MY "SPARREL". I THREW HIS RELICS, INSIDE OF THE BARREL, IN THE BACK YARD. I DROVE HOME. I DECIDED TO TAKE A WALK AFTER A LONG AND WELL DESERVED SHOWER.
ON MY WALK, I REFLECTED ON MY EMOTIONAL STATE. WHEN DID I GROW SO ANGRY? WHEN DID THE ANGER GROW INTO AN IMPULSE OF THE MURDEROUS VARIETY? WHEN DID I STOP GIVING A DAM? WHY DID I ALLOW HIM TO HAVE SO MUCH, POWER, OVER ME? I AM NOT SURE. ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
STORY FIVE: THE SPARREL REVISITED
1:45AM EST - 1:50AM EST
11.10.2022
NOVEMBER 10TH, 2022
THE LAST THING I REMEMBER, BEFORE BEING THROWN INTO THE WALL, WAS MY FINGER. MY FINGER WAS IN HIS FACE. NOW ALL OF A SUDDEM, I FOUND MYSELF FALLING TO THE GROUND, FRESH FROM HITTING THE WALL. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, I WAS BEING STOMPED INTO MY FRESHLY WASHED CARPET. I HAD JUST RETURNED THE RUG DOCTOR THE DAY BEFORE. NOW I WISH THE DOCTOR WERE STILL HERE. AS BLOOD FLOWED FROM MY MOUTH, I TASTED THE GRASS FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS SOLES. ALL I COULD MUSTER UP THE STRENGTH TO SAY, WAS ONE WORD, IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION. "WHY?" I ASKED MYSELF THIS QUESTION IN MY HEAD, MORE TIMES THAN I ARTICULATE IN THE MOMENT. THE LAST THING I REMEMBER HEARING WAS "WHY WOULDN'T YOU STOP? WHY WOULDN'T YOU STOP?"
NATURALLY, I WAS ASKING MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION, BUT WITH IT POSED TO THE BOTH OF US. WHY DIDN'T I STOP I WONDERED. NOW HE WON'T STOP. THE KICKS DIDN'T STOP. MY HEART RATE SLOWLY STOPPING, VIGOROUSLY, WAS THE LAST THING HAD I EVER FELT.
STORY SIX: IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIME REVISITED
1:51AM EST - 1:59AM EST
11.10.2022
NOVEMBER 10TH, 2022
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS GUY WAS. I WAS CAUGHT TOTALLY OFF GUARD AND BALANCE. MY BALANCE WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD. I WAS JUST WALKING TO MY MAILBOX. I WAS JUST WALKING BY THIS GUY, WHO WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET, AFTER PARKING IN MY DRIVE WAY. I ASKED HIM WHAT THE HELL DID HE THINK HE WAS DOING? HE SAID HE WOULD BE RIGHT BACK AND TO CHILL OUT. I DIDN'T WANT TO CHILL OUT. I FOLLOWED HIM. HE TURNED AROUND HASTILY AND SO I ACCIDENTALLY STEPPED ON HIS SHOES. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN THE BRAND NEW JORDANS, BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN HE IS IN MY FACE SCREAMING AND SHOUTING. I SHOULD HAVE JUST APOLOGIZED, BUT I DIDN'T. THIS ONLY MADE HIM ANGRIER. HE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANY ANGRIER. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW I AM BEING BODY SLAMMED AND DRUG TO MY BACK YARD. I WAS PLANTING A GARDEN TODAY. I HAD PICKED UP THE HOBBY RECENTLY. I HAD A BED OF ROCKS AROUND THE GARDEN. MORE LIKE 10-15LB BOULDERS. THERE WERE ABOUT TEN OF THEM, NEATLY PLACED, SIDE BY SIDE.
NOW THERE WERE NINE. MY VISION WAS GOING IN AND OUT, MY EYES OPENING AND SHUTTING QUICKLY, ATTEMPTING TO PROCESS THE MOMENT AS BEST AS I COULD. THE RANDOMNESS OF THE ATTACK HAD ME STUNNED IF NOT SHOCKED. THE LAST THING I REMEMBER SEEING, WAS MY BOULDER IN THE AIR. I FELT THE FIRST IMPACT. I DON'T REMEMBER FEELING ANYTHING ELSE.
STORY SEVEN: SLEEP BAIT REVISITED
