8:00AM EST
Monday April 6th, 2026
4.6.2026
Good
Morning Piedmont,
This
is going to be hard to get thru without crying. I am already. I’m going to have
to continuously wipe my eyes in order to see what button I am typing. When I
do, I will say…there…My name is Chad Xzavier Harris…122989…How you all referred
to me. I was discharged last Wednesday. I had cardio vascular
surgery…mechanical pleura desis…Dr. Victoria Walker was my initial pulmonary
consultant…She’s so awesome…you’re all awesome…I was admitted for my second
pneumo thorax…the walking collapsed lung…I was admitted on a Sunday…I was there
the next Sunday…my lung had collapsed again…while almost healed…it was the
Friday from hell…Dr. Walker was so confused…every night you keep getting worst
what’s going on…She came in excited for the first time…on the Saturday after the
Friday from hell…My Dad had called me Friday and started mocking my dreams…it
pissed me off…I hung up on him and unplugged the phone…My Mom was on the way
back to see me…She walked in as I was telling Nate what happened with my Dad…my
blood pressure and heart rate were sky high for the very first time…they were
confused as to why this was happening…I however…was not confused…My Mom was
told by me…I’m mad at my Dad…who is not her husband…so stay out of it…she
refused to stay out of it…I warned her…she refused to listen…she called my dad
and then came back in to tell me his side of the story…the nigga mocked me
while I’m in the hospital…I asked her to leave…she didn’t want to leave…she
proceeded to antagonize me further…all the while Nate is tripping out bc my
blood pressure is sky high…she finally leaves.
My
vitals went back to normal eventually…when she was there…the hole in my lung
got bigger and bigger…when she wasn’t there…it got better…before this
happened…I had an uncontrollable fit of laughter in the bathroom as I bathed
myself…I saw how bad I looked and just couldn’t stop laughing at my horrible
condition…it was a sad sight…and then hilarious…that’s just how I cope with my
own distress…I find the funny…there’s always a funny in it…I felt my lung
collapse again right here…I thought it was my left lung…which had collapsed
last year before Mother’s Day…Nate had them do a chest xray on me…yup…Dr. Neils
introduced himself to me…your lung has collapsed again…on the clamp…we have to
put you back on suction…the chain of command was broken…Dr. Walker had no idea
this had happened.
The
whole night I felt bad for Dr. Walker…boy oh boy is she in for an unpleasant
surprise…bright and early…She normally enters the room in the afternoon…as I
got better…she would enter around 9AM…she entered around that time…a little
later…I figured she couldn’t possibly have been told I was back on suction…she
thought it was sweet…come in later and take the tube out…so she comes in excited…she
was never excited about my condition…heyyyy good morning…I’m about to take your
tube out…pause…are you excited…how do you feel?
Uhhhh…confused…they
didn’t tell you what happened? No…what happened? I think you should take a seat
please…she sits on the chair arm…oh…you’re back on suction…what happened? My
dam family…it was the Friday from hell Dr. Walker…I told her everything I
already wrote down…she was pissed the chain of command was broken…I didn’t want
her to be bothered if she was not on call but whoever was on call did not let
her know…they didn’t even inform her immediately upon her return Saturday
morning…I figured the xrays would have been on her desk…waiting for her…they were
not…I had to tell her on the spot myself…it was kind of funny…all night I was
amusing myself with the look she’s going to have on her face…im weird like
that…she’s gonna be soooo pissed muHA…she thanked me for telling her the full
story…I don’t blame Dr. Neils or anyone…sh happens man…sh happens…since im the
s him who it happens to…lil wayne….
I had a
wonderful stay at your facilities…the fact I was there meant I wasn’t in
healthy condition but I made the best of it and your staff treated me like the
president…even though I had no insurance…I was treated better than most may
treat someone of my economic stature…I really appreciated that…look man you
already have no insurance and you can die here…whether you want to…or not…and
these people are trying to save your life…so make it easy for them to like you
and to help you…don’t be a headache and don’t blame them for your condition…the
doctor is not the reason I had to go to the hospital dude…make them laugh and
smile as much as you can and don’t be so concerned about your own pain…that’s
their job…just sit there and shut up…and if you’re going to speak…speak with
care…
I
always try to remember the names of the people attempting to save my life…lil
wayne shot himself in the chest while home alone…at twelve…in a locked room…a
cop named Uncle John…kicked down the door and saved his life…I would feel like
a piece of crap if I can’t even remember the name of someone saving my
life…especially with no insurance…I felt horrible…you all treated me way better
than I may have felt I deserved to be treated…based on my finances…I had about
three staff members assigned to me daily…and they switched a few times over the
course…of the ten days I may have been under your care…Daniel was the first one
I met…the xray tech…I told him my lung had collapsed…as I told the front
desk…bc I already knew this…he told me I was absolutely correct and my
intuition was on point…I smiled…I’m a filmmaker…my first short film…is called
intuition…if your intuition were a person only you could see…would you listen
to him then…I turned down the youtube offer to hire me as a partner…bc my close
friend Vanessa Malone…was murdered…on the anniversary of the short film…I
filmed it on October 23rd 2011…she died October 23rd
2012…it completely crushed me…I turned down the offer to attain my dream…her
dreams will never come true…how can I accept this right now…
She was
18…anyway…respectfully…my lung had collapsed before and I did not stop
smoking…I knew it would happen again…I was ignorantly anticipating it…I know
the signs…first the chest and then the spine…I felt it a week before I came in…I
trade currency…Sunday SIX PM…the market opens…I had a bad feeling…dude you
gotta go to the hospital…you can’t make it til Friday…you might not make it
thru the night…so I went in with a bag of comforts…I’ll be here awhile…I did
however…forget the extension cord…if I had the extension cord with me…boy I
would have been in Heaven dawg…Heaven I tell ya Heaven…I rarely get sick…so
when I do…it’s gonna be a crazily painful experience…
All of
the nurses were kind to me…every doctor was kind to me and professional…the
person who cleans the room…Shon…was sweet to me…I always talked to her…the
lunch lady…Cindy…was very kind to me…she listened to my songs…we talked about
music…she was very supportive and encouraging…I did not give her my new youtube
for AI MUSIC N FILM…I’m going to link it…please give it to her…everyone was
kind to me…I have a list of names I will place at the end…I wish I had the
paper and pen ready from the very beginning…I was just too doped up…to remember
every name and I saw so many people…it was hard to be honest…the one I
struggled with…name wise…was Shenae…the names may be spelled wrong…next time I
will write every name down and their department…everyone played a part in my
survival…I couldn’t do much to save myself…I just wanted to be as pleasing of a
personality as I could…Napoleon Hill…Think and Grow Rich…1920 era publication…I
want to enter politics…im extremely depressed from sexual trauma and finally
realized I am suicidal…why did I keep smoking…I wanted to die…and these people
are trying to save my life…I felt like a scumbag…don’t waste these people’s
time bro…someone in this hospital wants to keep living…so I approach hospital
visits under these circumstances…from the perspective of…I may never leave this
building…these could be the last people I ever meet…so give them a grand
time…that’s just how I operate…my dietician was Laura or Lauren…maybe Laura…she
was very kind…I had trouble eating the first few days…idk why…I’m not used to
eating so often…my stomach shrinks to cope and meals take hours to get thru
most times…especially without marijuana…and the tobacco decreases appetite…so
my body’s just confused as hell…
My
brother Justin joked…you’re a little too comfortable here…after I said well I’m
comfortable…if I’m not comfortable…then I’ll be uncomfortable…the pain was
uncomfortable…the tube poking into my spine…was uncomfortable…not being able to
walk to the bathroom and do anything without someone’s help…was uncomfortable…but
that’s not anyone’s fault but my own…why I was there had nothing to do with the
people assigned to take action on my behalf…Dr. Walker…Victoria…not Vicky…but
Victoria…was awesome…hey if I gotta stay in here just to see you dammit I hope
I never heal…so ignorant…hey at least I get to look at you dude…good deal…who
needs a lung right?
I never
stop cracking jokes…I’m not supposed to…nothing’s that serious…few things are
that serious…if it concerns me…well then it’s not that serious…others are
suffering more than I am…some will gladly take my place…so enjoy the position…someone
desires it…I just wanted to write a loving letter of my appreciation to you all
formally…I’ll include this letter in my next publication…a diary…wrists bathed
in red volume three…in volume one…I kept a detailed diary of a premonition I
was told by something I can not see but can only feel…they warned me on lil
waynes bday 2024…you’re a prophet…your mission is almost complete and your time
on earth is almost over…so hurry up…bc we are on the way to come and take you
back with us…after this I felt the sands of time flip upside down…it was
scary…I had to keep a beach towel…I felt like I was mourning myself for two
weeks and experiencing the pain of my loved ones…of course I can’t talk about
this openly…they won’t believe me…but when Honey died…Vanessa…I had my first
premonition…I think Honey told me…I was in the closet smoking marijuana and
something told me…the following…you will die…saving the life…of a child…you do
not…know…I said ok…whatever…fine…
I left
youtube and became a writer instead…publishing my deepest thoughts…for my
legacy…my life is very strange and it’s hard to tell people what I
experience…its strange as hell…so im just saying it here bc I don’t care what
you think about it…I’m definitely blessed…the first time my lung collapsed…you
all were amazed I was still walking…I went to work for two days after popping
my lung at work…I had just started and didn’t have a job for a year so…I missed
my paternal cousins funeral however…I had too much going on…way too much…I
spent the last year contemplating my next move…are you going to stop smoking or
are you going to continue being an asshole? I wanted to say goodbye to a bad
habit on my own terms…I said I’ll push it one more year…right before the one
year mark…I popped the other one…
This
time…I remember a few of you all saying…I’m way more active than most in my
condition…I’m a busy body man and only death will stop me…and he’s gassing up
the car right now it appears…morbid humor…I figure you as a hospital…also have
a sick sense of humor…I was begging myself to stop laughing…in the bathroom…I
just wouldn’t listen…it felt like someone else was cracking the jokes…dude
please stop we’re gonna die…so? What u mean so? I’m stupid bro…I can’t take
anything seriously…make me….if im not laughing im crying bro…I’d rather
laugh…even if it is at my own…expense…I type this way for cadence comprehension
purposes…I want to be an actor…to cry on camera…I can cry on cue…bc I have to
learn…to not cry…on…cue…being an actor or a politician…would give my tears
purpose…finally…instead of just giving me a migraine…so I try to be as pleasing
as I can be to other people…I don’t like being mean…especially for no
reason…unless I must defend myself from someone mean…I don’t need to be mean…my
angry side is mostly reserved for self defense purposes.
Dr.
Walker…had warned me..the first week…cardio vascular surgery is aware of you
and your case and your last case here last year…if I can’t fix the issue
alone…you will need their help…that’s when I knew it was real…oh sh I did it
now…heart surgery is on the table…no…pun…intended…I didn’t look up the
procedure until she ordered it…on the post Friday from hell…Saturday…when she
first mentioned heart surgery…I broke eye contact and started to tear up…she
was on the phone with my goofy Dad…
Once
she orders the surgery…I looked up the operation…worst case scenarios are very
rare and survival rates are high…post operation complications are common and
expected…possibly even a fever…they will inject talc into the chest tube…or
they will mechanically create inflammation so the lung lining adheres to the
chest cavity…oh this is gonna suck…literally…no joke…I done did it now…
I
thanked Dr. Walker for her time and effort and told her I enjoyed every second
I spent with her…I met Dr. Willie or Willies thereafter…the operation was
Monday I believe…I had a few days to prepare…wow…heart surgery…my maternal
grandmother…Thelma Lee Washington…did not survive the triple bypass
surgery…there was miscommunication and the operation wasn’t needed…hell yea I
was scared…heart surgery killed my grandmother…time to be brave…
I met
Dr. Susies…he came to my room maybe Monday or Sunday…idk…he explained the
operation…I had already looked into it…I just wanted to know which way they
were going to proceed…chemical talc…or mechanical abrasion…I thought mechanical
was going to be worst…they did not…the chemical is invasive and not used for
younger patients and those without cancer…mostly a fluid build up…I think I was
just leaking air more than fluid pumping or whatever you would call it…
I told
Dr. Susies I trusted him with my life to make the best decision and I had no
other questions…but how was your day…Kelly went down to surgery with me…and
Darius I believe…short dreads...he was an escort when i had to leave the
room...i saw him twice…My Dad warned me…they are going to sneak you to sleep…they
will come into your room and put you under ANA…can’t spell that word…he warned
me…
So they
take me to the pre op room…I was still awake…so I am sitting in there…and Sarah
and Angel were connecting me to an IV…twice…I said dam…I get two? I didn’t know
the IV bag was behind my head…so I didn’t think anything of it…Madelyn comes in
the room…hey turn on the TV…ohhhh ASMR huh…in retrospect…so im watching a
London antique show…and almost fall asleep…am I tired? What just happened…My
Mom comes in the room later…hey…they got you…the bags behind your head…the
dirty sap sucker…got me…and I was warned…oh I get it now…pre operation means
they gotta knock you out cold bro…now go to sleep so they can do their job…it
was my first surgery…
The
surgeons really are the jocks of the hospital…as my favorite
show…scrubs…said…they are very confident…like athletes…yea we’re gonna cut you
open and fix the problem yea its no big deal we do it all day…jocks man jocks…I
envy your confidence…I asked my Mom to write down the names of the surgeon
crew…my Dad told me someone would distract me as I was being put to sleep…Dr.
Mortimer…the head guy of the ANA…he was talking to me…so I assumed…if the top
dawg is talking to me then he’s not putting me to sleep yet…no no no…his goons
were doing that simultaneously…oh you’re smoothhhh…very.
Dr.
Mortimer explained the procedure…I repeated what I learned about it…I know the
jist of it…I trust you all…I have no questions…how was your day? Better than
mine I hope…I wasn’t worried…fate is an inescapable deity…whatever happens
happens bro…scapel. I told them…if I survive the surgery…I won’t ever smoke
again…I was saying that for my own peace…theres a possibility I don’t survive
this and I should be aware of this…someone…broke the unwritten rule…oh you’re
gonna survive…that was a very compassionate thing to say to someone in my
situation…but I would never ask someone to make me a promise…I appreciate the
fact they broke the rule to comfort me…that was a kind thing to do…but I would
never ask for that…whatever happens was already written…just do your best…do
your best…and whatever happens…happened already…I look at life as the playback
of your fate and destiny…I’m just watching a movie…the script is written…I’m
living the script…I do believe in free will…but I can’t escape my script…I
didn’t’ write my own script…maybe I do…it’s a sticky concept to discuss…I
believe GOD knows our choices already…we made the choice…HE knew the choice we
would make.
I never
saw the surgeons again…they wheeled me out and I fell asleep on the operating
table…I only remember it was cold and the room had blue around me…I only
remember the color blue…I woke up in recovery…with an xray board or lense…being
pulled from behind my back…my back hurt a lot…then I realized it was over…
After
this I had many new phone calls to accept…everyone was concerned…after surgery
I killed the food from then on…the only complication I feel now…feels like my
heart is doing a hiccup sometimes…a little scary…like a yawn or
something…sometimes it has a minor spazz…and the stitches over the skin
covering my heart…are utterly terrifying…when I see an old vape I throw it
away…it’s scary…that sh almost killed me…I almost killed myself…I almost let it
kill me…I said I wanted to give you all five pages…one page…for every two days
I was there…now let me give a special thanks to all of the names I have written
down and or still remember…I forget many names im sure so…I apologize…it does
bother me…if they remember going to 410 for stat or respiratory or xray or
dietary or cleaning…I’m talking to you…you would have to ask those departments
if they remember Chad…the guy that was very comfortable in the hospital…lol…a
little too comfortable…
Please
take some positive action on these people’s behalf…even if its just free lunch
or an extra shift or a day off…whatever you can afford…they deserve it…you all
were amazing and extremely professional and compassionate to my Mother and
myself…Richard Blake the chaplain as well…he was awesome and a great source of
comfort during my stay there…I looked forward to seeing him…he just didn’t
understand his position is a one on one relationship and he has no right to
invite people to our meetings…if I have to invite someone to my therapy
sessions then the hell with the therapy…who wants their mother in their therapy
session with them? Not me bro…not me…Doctors only talk to the patient…it’s a
breach of trust if you decide who I must include…im not supposed to include
anyone and my relationship with my mother is not your relationship with your
mother and its wrong of you to project that unto me…just bc you have a great
relationship with your mother doesn’t mean I have the same…he triggered me…bc
she triggers me….who wants their trigger in their therapy session…the hell with
that kind of therapy bro that’s torture…whose side are you on? Cause she wasn’t
admitted to the hospital…that nigga was doing too much…and he doesn’t even
comprehend my aversion to it…other than that I have no complaints…the doctor
only speaks to who I authorize them to talk to…its just that simple…not one
doctor asked to talk to my family…I authorize that…I suffered from neglect then
sexual abuse and then fell into addiction…if you have a problem with my
emotions I’ll spare you my four letter words bro…I’ve been pretty professional
up to this point so I won’t ruin it now…but that’s my only complaint…you just
met my mother…I’ve known her thirty six years so go screw yourself bro…lol…
One of
the last names I met…
Kelly…my nurse…
Belle…my nurse…
TK or Tiki…my nurse…
Robin…the last nurse on the last day…the floater…
Yemmy… my nurse…
Adrian…the vitals department…
Shon…cleaned up my mess…
Cindy…the cafeteria worker who took the time to spare a few
words and listen to my dreams if I made it out of there…I’ll miss you Cindy it
was a pleasure…
Quay is awesome…she was my main vitals person and is very
professional and courteous and compassionate…even to my Mother…she was very
accommodating…one of the nicest…she told everyone else to look after me in her
absence…
Morgan was her replacement…I remember Morgan…she said take a
bath and didn’t make the water for me…guess ill hobble over there with this
tube and do it myself then huh…lol…which I did…I put the battery in the bag I
had and strapped it around me…I do this bro I got this…just gonna take way
longer and hurt a lot…lol…Morgan is cool im teasing her…I was still pretty able
bodied…
Belle had a partner I think Chelsea…they turned that suction
back on as I was bathing myself…I was halfway done…then in terrible pain for
five hours…I spent one hour just sitting in the same spot feeling
stupid…thinking dam they just ruined my day….good morning to you too…I was
moving around feeling great…until…lol…
Lou was the charge nurse a few days and my nurse a few
days…Lou was really cool…I wanted to hug her goodbye for everyone but I just
shook her hand as I left…
I remember an Austin…stats or respiratory…
I remember Chris…guy Chris…
And a woman in stats Chris…
I told the guy Chris yea there’s another Chris here and she
looks better than you…you not the Chris im talking about Chris…your hair as
short as mine…
Hector…xray…
Joy…saw her once at the end…
Eddie has to remove my stitches…he was confused…I kept
asking about what he was going to do for his sons birthday…you’re in serious
pain and you’re asking about my son…this could be my last conversation bro…so
where are you gonna take him?
Shenae was awesome…she said I’m more active than most in my
position…she wrapped up my wounds and kept checking on the stability…gonna miss
you Nae…
My favorite on the surgery team was Jersee…she stood out the
most…I’ll never forget Jersee…she’s cool as hell…what a jock…Jersey…Jerzee…I
never asked how to spell it…you know who you are supposed to be…
Sandra and Angel put me to sleep…
Dr. P
Dr. Abdu…
Dr. B.
Dr. Walker…never let anyone call you Vicky…she checked me
instantly…we not that cool yet…its Victoria…dam my bad nigga…you right I got
TOO comfy…
Dr. Sousi Sceusi…hey I’m butchering these names bro…my bad…
Madelyn was really cool…she was the one typing and the one
to suggest I put on a little…ASMR…
The student was McKinsey…I asked her straight up…youre the
one that’s not supposed to interact with me right? They always seem the
coldest…why is she just in here looking at me in pain and doing nothing bro…oh
shes a student oh yea stay over there then u kinda don’t know wtf you’re doing
ok I get it now…took a while to get that over the years in different
hospitals…its always that one weirdo…
Mr. J…J Thomas maybe…my mom wrote Thomas there…
Dr. Mortimer was awesome…he snuck me to sleep…
Dr. Momin was one of the last doctors besides Dr. Willies…
Dr. Willies…he came in the room just cheesing…cheesing…Mr.
Chipper over here…he told me if he had to have his family do this operation he
would choose Dr. Sceusi…that was comforting in all reality…
That was from memory and the surgery list…
Here is my list I made after I was discharged…
Daniel...xray…first one I met…
Lou…charge nurse and nurse…
Wendy was a charge nurse once…
Jan…nurse…
Kenyadda…we talked a lot…tell your son stop vaping…take him
to therapy…
Joy and Kimberly…xray…
Robin…you made my last day comforting…thank you…
Tiki…we talked about her son being a currency trader as
well…
Jans son currency trades as well…
Eddie…Eddie was awesome…
Belle…Belle was awesome…
Austin…stats or resp…
Chris the lady…stats maybe…
Chris the guy…stats maybe…
Hector…xray…
I was released on April fools day…I thought I was a dead
man…april fools…
Shenae…
Cyndi…lunch lady lol…Cyndi was awesome she’s my favorite…she
encouraged the music I was making…
Shon…cleaned up my mess…thank you Shon…
Yemmy…Yemmy was awesome…I only asked for drugs and apple
juice…simple guy…
Adrian…vitals…
Dr. Walker…I said enough about her lol…
Dr. Willies…Mr Chipper just come in the room cheesing…
Dr. Sceusi…
Dr. Neils…the one who confirmed my lung had popped again…
Dr. Mortimer…
Angel…
Jerzee…
Madelyn…
Heather…
Morgan…
Kelly…
Laura the dietician or Lauren…
Jay…
Those are all of the names I have…
I initially wanted to give you 10 pages…didn’t think I
could…
I figured at five I would conclude…
I’m at 9 now…4140…im
kinda tired by now bro tbh…this took a lot of energy…
Normally 10 pages doesn’t feel so tough…
It is 2:20PM EST…
This took me six hours…that’s insane…im tired dawg I need a
nap…I’m going to email this later today…I was given a direct email to send this
to…I was going to google review it…may GOD continue to bless you all…I deeply
appreciate your time and effort…I’ll remember you until my memories fade
without my permission…have a great summer…hope I never see you again while
you’re working…if I have to come back…I hope you’re there…I bought nicotine gum
and vapes scare the hell out of me…I’m going to be an advocate for not smoking…you
can just stab yourself in the heart and get it over with quick fast and in a
hurry…don’t drag it out bro it’s a slow and painful death sip by sip…slow
poisoning at two miles per hour so everybody sees you…
SINCERELY
YOURS,
CHAD
XZAVIER HARRIS…122989…kisses…
MRN 903628906…4.1.202…DISCHARGE
