4:22PM EST - 4:32PM EST
TUESDAY OCTOBER 8TH, 2019
DEAR VANESSA,
TODAY I READ AN EMAIL THAT WAS SENT TO ME YESTERDAY. THE LETTER WAS FROM AUSTIN MAC PUBLISHING IN NEW YORK CITY. ANJA WEBB LET ME KNOW THEY WERE ADVISED BY THE EDITORIAL BOARD TO TURN DOWN THE SUBMITTED PUBLICATION. THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD SENT OUT ANY MANUSCRIPT FOR PUBLISHING. THE MIND RACES A LITTLE. SO MANY THOUGHTS COME TO MIND. OF COURSE I WILL CONTINUE, BUT IN WHAT MANNER WILL I CONTINUE? I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT WHAT I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT AND MUST NOT COMPROMISE. I WOULD LIKE TO FIND COMMON GROUND. AM I TOO UNCOMMON FOR COMMON GROUND? HOW DO I WRITE LESS CONTROVERSIAL MATERIAL ABOUT LESS CONTROVERSIAL MATTERS IF THIS IS WHAT MATTERS TO ME?
MY HEART MUST BE IN WHATEVER I WRITE. THIS IS WHY I AM ALWAYS WRITING TO YOU, OR ABOUT YOU AMONG OTHER THINGS. IF THE HEART IS NOT IN IT, THEN THE HEART WILL NOT CONTINUE IN IT. I WILL GIVE IT A SHOT. WRITING A PARODY ABOUT SUPERFICIALITY. MAYBE THAT IS AS SHALLOW AS I CAN GET. PARODYING WHAT I DEEM SUPERFICIAL. MAYBE THAT IS JUST THE BEST I CAN DO. INSTEAD OF WRITING SOMETHING TOO CONTROVERSIAL FOR THE INDUSTRY; MAYBE IT WILL BE BETTER IF I JUST PRETEND TO SUPPORT WHAT SHOULD NOT BE SUPPORTED. I WILL LET THE READER FIGURE THE POINT OUT INSTEAD OF POINTING THE MESSAGE OUT.
WHATEVER I SPEND HOURS WRITING, THE HEART MUST BE IN IT. I MUST FEEL WHATEVER I WRITE. I WRITE WHATEVER I FEEL I NEED A FEW DAYS TO PUT TOGETHER A NEW STRATEGY. I HAVE A FEW IDEAS OF WHERE I WANT TO GO FROM HERE. THE PUBLISHER'S GAVE ME NO FEEDBACK ON THE PROJECT, THEY JUST TURNED IT DOWN. THEY SAID NOTHING ABOUT THE BOOK OTHER THAN THEY DIDN'T WANT IT. I WILL BE OK. I LOVE YOU HONEY. LOOK OUT FOR ME.
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