WRISTS BATHED IN RED SESSION MARKIEREN SESSION ONE

5:13PM EST - 6:11PM EST

TUESDAY MARCH 12TH, 2024

3.12.2024

 WRISTS BATHED IN RED:

SESSION

 MARKIEREN SESSION ONE

  ONLY GOD AND MY PARENT'S WILL LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY. EVERYONE ELSE'S LOVE WILL WAIVER. HUMANS ARE INCAPABLE OF SHOWING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. NOT JUST UNCONDITIONAL LOVE BUT A LIFE LONG LOVE. I WOULDN'T ASK YOU TO REMAIN IN MY LIFE AS LONG AS I'M NOT ABUSIVE. WHAT IF YOU'RE ABUSIVE EVEN IF I'M NOT? WHAT IF I NEVER ABUSE YOU AND YOU STILL LEAVE? NOTHING IN THIS REALM IS PERMANENT EXCEPT GOD. 

  NOTHING EXISTS HERE BUT GOD. IF I PLACE MY FAITH IN ANYTHING OR ANYONE BUT GOD I WILL BE PUNISHED. THE IDEA OF PLACING MY HAPPINESS IN ANOTHER PERSON'S HANDS FRIGHTENS ME. SHE'S A HUMAN BEING JUST LIKE ME. HUMAN NATURE TERRIFIES ME. SELF PRESERVATION WILL ALWAYS REIGN SUPREME. A HUMAN WILL ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR THEIR SELF INTEREST FIRST AND FOREMOST. 

  IT'S IN MY BEST SELF INTEREST TO REMAIN AS LONELY AS POSSIBLE. STAY AS CLOSE TO MYSELF AS POSSIBLE. SHE MAY BE ENOUGH FOR ME. I WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR HER. I'LL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR HER FOREVER. HUMAN BEINGS WILL ALWAYS CRAVE NEW EXPERIENCES. YOU'LL ALWAYS CRAVE SOMETHING NEW. YOU'LL ALWAYS WANT A NEW ENVIRONMENT. YOU'LL ALWAYS WANT A NEW LOVE. 

  IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME TO ASK OF HER TO STAY IN MY LIFE UNTIL WE BOTH DIE. WHY WOULD I WANT TO SUFFOCATE HER WITH MY PRESENCE UNTIL SHE DIES? HUMAN EMOTION IS POLYGAMOUS. YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE EACH EMOTION STORED FOR MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT A TIME. YOU HAVE HATED MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE. 

  YOU HAVE LOVED MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT ONCE. A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON IS THE GREATEST GAMBLE I CAN EVER TAKE. THE RETURN ON INTEREST ISN'T GUARANTEED. THE DAMAGES HIT ALL CATEGORIES OF LIFE. PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE IS IRREVERSIBLE. YOU CAN'T BUY BACK YOUR TRUST ISSUES. YOU CAN'T BUY BACK YOUR PEACE OF MIND. YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO THE LIGHT HEARTED MIND YOU HAD BEFORE THEY DAMAGED YOU. 

  I LOOK AT HUMAN BEINGS AS WILD BEASTS AND I WANT AS FEW OF THEM AROUND ME AS POSSIBLE. THEY THRIVE OFF OF PHYSICAL PLEASURE. PHYSICAL REALM PLEASURES MOTIVATE THEIR ACTIONS. ALL THEY WANT IS PHYSICAL SENSATION. I AM ONE OF THEM. I KNOW MY JOURNEY HOWEVER. YOU'RE READING MY THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE BEEN THIS ENTIRE TIME. DO I SEEM AS THOUGH MY PHYSICAL URGES DRIVE EVERY ONE OF MY ACTIONS. DO I APPEAR AS IF MY PHYSICAL URGES DRIVE THE MAJORITY OF MY ACTIONS? 

  I SPOKE TO A FREE MASON AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM THE UNIVERSE. I TOLD HIM I DON'T THINK ANYONE ACTUALLY EVEN EXISTS AT ALL. I TOLD HIM I BELIEVE THIS LIFE IS A COMBINATION OF THE MATRIX AND INCEPTION. I BELIEVE WE ALL LIVE IN A SHARED DREAM WORLD REALITY WHICH IS A METAPHYSICAL COMPUTER SIMULATION. THE FREE MASON TOLD ME MANY TIMES OVER I AM "SPOT ON". 

  THE FREE MASON SAID I AM WHAT FREE MASONS CALL A "NATURAL MASON". I ASKED HIM WHAT A "NATURAL MASON" EVEN WAS. HE TOLD ME A "NATURAL MASON" NATURALLY LEARNS ESOTERIC OR HIDDEN KNOWLEDGE THE FREE MASONS KNOW. I AM NATURALLY A FREE MASON MINDED INDIVIDUAL. WHICH IS WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK. TO SHARE A "NATURAL MASON" PERSPECTIVE WITH THE WORLD. 

  I TOOK NO OATH. I LEARNED NO SECRETS DIRECTLY. I WASN'T EVER TAUGHT ANYTHING BY A FREE MASON. I JUST LIKE TO STUDY SPIRITUALITY. I CRAVES SPIRITUAL POWER. I WANTED MY SPIRIT AND OR SOUL TO BE AS POWERFUL AS POSSIBLE. I WANTED MENTAL POWER. I WANTED EMOTIONAL POWER. I WANTED POWER OVER MY MIND. I WANTED POWER OVER MY EMOTIONAL BODY. I WANTED POWER WITHIN MY SPIRIT AND OR SOUL. 

  THE KEY TO ENLIGHTENMENT IS SELF KNOWLEDGE. THIS IS WHAT THE FREE MASONS ALWAYS SAID. I WANTED TO KNOW MYSELF. I WOULD HAVE TO BE TRAPPED WITHIN YOUR MIND SIMULATION IN ORDER TO ACTUALLY KNOW YOU. SOON WITH TRANSHUMANISM TECHNOLOGY WE WILL HAVE THE BRAINTERNET. MULTIPLE BRAINS WILL BE CONNECTED TOGETHER AS THEIR OWN INTERNET OF CONNECTED MINDS. 

  I WOULD BE MORE CONCERNED WITH ADVANCING THE STATE OF THE BRAINTERNET THAN CONNECTING WITH SOMEONE'S MIND WITHOUT IT. WITHOUT UNFILTERED ACCESS TO ANOTHER PERSON'S MIND I WOULDN'T EVER KNOW THEM. IF YOU'RE WILLING TO GRANT ME UNFILTERED ACCESS TO YOUR MIND THEN I CAN DO THE SAME. THEN WE CAN COPE WITH EACH OTHER'S INNER CHAOS INSTEAD OF BEING CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT. 

  IF I KNEW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING I COULD ACCOMMODATE YOU. IF I KNEW WHAT TORMENTED YOU I COULD HELP YOU SOOTHE IT. I COULD OFFER MORE COMPASSION IN THOSE MOMENTS OF PAIN. I WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU WENT THRU ON A DAILY BASIS. IF I KNEW WHAT BOTHERED HER ABOUT ME I COULD CHANGE IT IMMEDIATELY. 

  IF I KNEW WHAT BOTHERED HER ABOUT HER I COULD HELP HER. I COULD BE COMFORTING TO HER AT ALL TIMES. I WOULD BE PLAGUED BY HER THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AS MUCH AS SHE WERE. I COULD HEAR HER PAIN. I COULD SEE HER PAIN. I COULD SENSE HER HURT. I WOULD HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO HELP HER. SHE WOULD KNOW I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GOING THRU. WE COULD JUST HAVE CONVERSATIONS BASED ON WHAT WE HEAR THE OTHER ONE FEELING. 

  WE CAN COMMUNICATE BASED ON WHAT WE FEEL THE OTHER ONE FEELING. IT WOULD BE A REAL RELATIONSHIP. WE WOULD ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO RELATE TO EACH OTHER. I WOULD KNOW WHEN SHE WAS SAD. I WOULD KNOW EXACTLY WHY SHE WAS SAD. I WOULD KNOW JUST HOW SAD SHE ACTUALLY WAS. I WOULD KNOW WHEN SHE GOT SAD IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WHEN SHE BECAME SAD AGAIN. 

  WE COULD JUST LAUGH ABOUT OUR PAIN TOGETHER. SHE WOULD FEEL MY SADNESS. I WOULD FEEL HER SADNESS. SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO GUESS. I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GUESS. SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL ME. I WOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL HER. WE WOULD JUST KNOW. WE WOULD REALLY ACTUALLY FEEL AS ONE. WE WOULD AT LEAST KNOW HOW EACH OTHER FEELS AT THE SAME TIME. 

  WE WOULD KNOW HOW MUCH WE MEANT TO ONE ANOTHER. WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO PRETEND OR EMBELLISH OUR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER. SHE WOULD LOVE ME MORE BC SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH I CARED FOR HER. WE COULD JUST TAKE INITIATIVE ON EACH OTHER'S FEELINGS IN GENERAL AND FOR EACH OTHER SPECIFICALLY. 

  SHE COULD NEVER DOUBT IF I CARED ABOUT HER. I COULD NEVER DOUBT IF SHE CARED ABOUT ME. HOWEVER WE FEEL FOR EACH OTHER WE COULD BOTH ADAPT TO IT. IF SHE WANTED TO MARRY ME AND HAVE CHILDREN THEN WE COULD JUST DO THAT. WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO TALK SO MUCH ANYMORE EITHER. WE WOULD ONLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW.