MISTERMEN

TRANSCRIBED FROM SUNDAY AUGUST 25TH, 2019-

MISTER MEN

MONDAY FEBRUARY 11TH, 2019

STOSH’S 29TH BIRTHDAY 

DEAR MISTER MAN: CHAPTER ONE: THE INTRODUCTION

    WE’RE GOING TO GO WITH DEAR MISTER MAN, RIGHT? SO THIS IS FOR THE MISTER MEN YOU KNOW, ALL THE MISTER MEN OUT THERE, WHAT’S UP MISTER MEN? YEA, IT’S YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD NERD (LH) WHOSE YOUR FAVORITE NERD NIGGA? I SAID, WHOSE YOUR FAVORITE NERD? WHOSE YOUR FAVORITE DORK? WHOSE THE SQUAREST NIGGA YOU KNOW? NIGGA? SO UH, THIS IS FOR, THE D BOYS, OK I SAID IT ONCE. MISTER MEN, RIGHT? MISTER MEN, HOW’S IT’S GOING? UM, I’M GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THE GAME MISTER MEN AND I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. 

    FIRST OFF, FUCK THAT! YOU’RE LIKE FUCK YOU NIGGA! FUCK YOU CHAD. THAT’ S WHAT, THAT’S THE FIRST THING I NEED YOU TO DO. I SAID MISTER MAN, WE’RE GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THE GAME. YOUR’RE LIKE FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU CHAD. RIGHT? NOW UM, (INHALES) THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE WHITE MAN SAYS AND UM, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, YOU REFUSE TO WORK FOR THE WHITE MAN. AS YOU SHOULD. I-I-I-I-I-II-I-I-I-I-I (LH). OK, I GET IT, I GET IT, YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK FOR THE WHITE MAN AND I DON’T WANNA WORK FOR THE WHITE MAN EITHER BUT I DO WORK FOR THE WHITE MAN BECAUSE WORKING FOR THE WHITE MAN IS NOT SAFE, AT ALL, BUT IT’S SAFER THAN, YOU KNOW,, BEING A MISTER MAN. 

AS FRIEND TO THE MISTER MAN I WANT TO SAY, WE CAN ALL GET OUT OF THE  GAME, AND UM, I’M WORKING ON THAT, SO, UNTIL THEN, I NEED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR AND UH, IT’S FAVOR NUMBER TWO AFTER READING THIS. YEA, IT’S A FAVOR, SO, SO ,IT’S A FAVOR, WHILE I CONCOCT THE PLAN OR WHAT NOT, AND CAN DESCRIBE IT BETTER, I NEED YOU TO UH, USE YOUR BLOOD MONEY AND GIVE BACK TO THE ORPHANS AND THE YOUTH. AND THE COMMUNITIES AROUND YOURS. OK?

SO,  WHAT IS THAT GOING TO DO? I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING, WHAT’S THAT GOING TO DO? IF YOU, DONATE A HUNDRED DOLLARS, ON A REGULAR BASIS, TO THE YOUTH, SOMEHOW, LIKE REALLY DO SOMETHING, LEND THE HELPING HAND, RIGHT? LEND A HELPING HAND.. IT’S A TINY RIPPLE OF HOPE AND IT WILL KEEP YOU OUT OF JAIL, PRISON AND ALL OF THAT GOOD STUFF BECAUSE THE WHITE MAN WON’T BE ABLE TO GET YOU FOREVER. GOD’S GOING TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND IT’S LIKE OK, HE’S USING HIS BLOOD MONEY FOR THE GREATER GOOD. THE ONLY THING IT SHOULD BE USED FOR.

 LIKE, WARS ARE HAPPENING ANYWAY, IT’S  A HISTORICAL FEATURE OF MAN KIND’S TIME ON EARTH. SO, THE WAR MOVIE HAS NEVER STOPPED. SHE HAS GOTTEN MORE INTERESTINGLY DISGUSTING. WE’RE DISGUSTED WITH HER. LET’S THINK IN TERMS OF ENERGY HERE PEOPLE. TAKE THE BLOOD MONEY AND SPRAY IT IN THE UNIVERSE BECAUSE IT’S ALREADY IN CIRCULATION. SO YOU GRABBED IT OUT OF CIRCULATION AND THEN YOU SPRAY IT IN THE DIRECTION OF THE YOUTH. YOU KNOW WHY?

YOU CAN’T LAUNDER THAT MONEY ALRIGHT. IF YOU TAKE YOUR BLOOD MONEY, AND TRY TO TURN IT LEGAL THEN THAT’S CALLED MONEY LAUNDERING. SO, YOU MUST BE AND I KNOW WE ARE. SO, WITH THAT SAID, AIN’T NOBODY TRADING STOCKS WITH THAT SHIT NIGGA. SO, I CAN'T BUY CRYPTO WITH THAT MR. AML BITCOIN. PATRIOT ACT, WHAT? SO, TAKE THE BLOOD MONEY, A PORTION OF IT, A SMALL PORTION, CAUSE IT’S A LOT CAUSE YOU’RE DOING YOUR THING !!AYE!!

GIVE BACK, AND WE’LL GO FURTHER, LATER. INTO EVERYTHING, JUST RIGHT NOW, EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE’S MORE, THERE’S ALWAYS MORE, THINKING MORE, WITH A HUNDRED PROJECTS, WHATEVER, I MADE A LOT OF SHIT, IN MANY YEARS, IN ALL OF MY TWENTIES ACTUALLY AND IN ALL MY TWENTIES, HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF THIS, JUST HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF THIS IN GENERAL,  AND UM, IT’S LIKE THE FIRST THING LIKE THIS, IN PARTICULAR, I GET THE SHIVERS. 

THE HEEBIE JEEBIES, THE BUTTERFLIES, THE BUTTERFLY EFFECTS, ALL THAT STUFF. THE BUTTERFLIES AFFECT ME MAN. (L) AND UM, YOU KNOW? 8MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS IN YOU KNOW, WE, I NEED YOU TO JUST GIVE BACK TO THE YOUTH. JUST,  REALLY, LIKE REALLY, YOUTH, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. JUST, MAKE SURE YOU GIVE BACK, LOOK OUT FOR THE YOUTH. JUST, ALL DAY, JUST LOOK OUT. JUST LOOK OUT FOR THE YOUTH. THAT’S IT. 

THAT’S IT, THAT’S IT, JUST THE YOUTH, THE YOUTH, THE YOUTH, THE YOUTH. SO, THAT’S THE FIRST FAVOR. I JUST CALL THEM FAVORS BUT UM THAT’S THE FIRST ONE. LOOK OUT FOR THE YOUTH. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO STOP SO. FIRST OFF, LOOK OUT FOR THE YOUTH. UH, AND, GOD UH, YOU KNOW? SO, LIKE JUST LOOK AT IT LIKE THAT’S THE BEST THING YOU COULD EVER DO. DO NOTHING ELSE. WEAR NO FLASHY CLOTHES. DRIVE NOTHING FLASHY. JUST NOTHING, YOU KNOW? 

BUY NEW SHIRTS AND THEN SPRAY MUSTARD ON THEM. THE BEST THING YOU COULD OD. (LH). I REALLY, IT’S, I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO LAUGH AT MY JOKES. LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THEM SERIOUSLY. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE DEADPAN (L). HOW CAN I DO DEADPAN? (L) AW-SH, MAN SO LOOK OUT FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING YOUTH ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT?JUST LOOK OUT FOR THE  YOUTH.

JUST REALLY, LOOK OUT FOR THEM BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, AND UM, WE’RE GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THE GAME MISTER MAN. ALRIGHT? JUST LOOK OUT FOR THE YOUTH ORPHANS, JUST LIKE DRASTICALLY IN NEED YOUTH. YOUTH, THE MOST DRASTIC, WHATEVER.